Finished Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

Cassie called me tonight to chat and the phone call quickly turned to Theo. “Why did he do it?” she asked me. I needed time to process. Why did he do it? Good question Cass. I think it comes down to longing for things that could have been. He seemed genuine; like a good man with a sweet soul. I don’t think he regretted his life because he loved his little girl but don’t we all have “what ifs” in life? So many books have been written about alternate timelines. About how life could have been. The Time Traveler’s Wife, In Any Lifetime, The Midnight Library, etc. The “what ifs” can be tantalizing. Theo had the means to revisit some parts of his life, the son he never knew, the family he might have had. If money was no object, what would you do? What storyline of your life would you choose to revisit? Are there people I might go see? I don’t know, maybe.

It’s also nice to be somewhere that people don’t know you and a place where everything about your life is not on display. I love being at a conference where I don’t know anyone and I can fill my down time reading whatever story I brought with me. Being able to choose where I sit and what I eat without trying to figure out the optics of it all. Being famous must be taxing in that way. Constantly having your head on a swivel, knowing your every micro movement, every comment or sigh will be dissected and analyzed. I don’t want it; listen, I’m not saying poor rich man, I’m just saying that anonymity is nice sometimes.

I loved meeting the different characters and finding out how they were all interconnected before Theo, and after Theo. The town of Golden was well developed, the backstories were beautiful, and the interactions were meaningful in a way that made me ache with the characters.  It was also nice reading a book where the main character saw the good in everyone. I think that is a quality of Theo that I aspire towards, he had patience for people and was able to see their strengths and celebrate those. As a teacher, I try to see the good in all of my students and colleagues and I try really really hard to have patience with them, but sometimes that patience is hard to find. Not that people don’t deserve it, I t’s just some days it’s so hard to dig in and find the patience for others when you are not feeling your best self. I hope as I get older, I continue to build that muscle and work to give people the patience they deserve.

I saw Allen Levi’s interview with Oprah and he told her he is an avid reader, a delighted reader, and that he loves to read. In that moment I felt truly connected to him. I am not the type of reader who remember every detail of the book or even all the characters but I remember the way the book made me feel. I love immersing myself in the story. I just love reading, there are very few books that I don’t get some enjoyment out of or some learning from. Honestly, I have a couple books on my TBR bookshelf that are started and not finished but it’s not a DNF, it’s just a not yet, a pause; like maybe they found me at the wrong time in my reading journey, I’ll come back to them.